


The Past Haunts

by RAWowner333



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, mostly. just one small change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RAWowner333/pseuds/RAWowner333
Summary: AKA "Depression is a Bitch"Korra has been feeling depressed lately but she tries to hide it from Asami, until she can't.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	The Past Haunts

The two girls were lounging in one of the many family rooms in their mansion home, silently enjoying each other’s presence as they rested upon each other. Asami was just relaxing with not much on her mind, while Korra was lost in her own thoughts. Something was  _ off _ and it was bothering her more and more as the days progressed. Things have been  _ finally _ slowing down; Republic City had been repaired, Future Industries had steadied out their production rates and was no longer being repurposed for city reconstruction, and finally there hadn't been any major incidents in the world that demanded the Avatar’s attention. Even with their life entering a time of tranquility, Korra’s mind treaded on thin ice as her gaze was unfocused.

Asami loved listening to Korra’s breathing, she found it ever so relaxing, so it didn’t take long for her to notice that sometimes Korra would stop breathing for a few seconds before returning to her normal pattern. She wasn’t really concerned about it until it was happening more frequently, and sometimes even longer.

“Korra?” Asami broke the silence of the room, worried about her fiance. The words seemed to be absorbed into the walls of the mansion as there wasn’t any answer back, Korra too much inside her own head. Her thoughts weren’t even cohesive, stretched in many different directions causing her to slightly...panic?  _ Is this what this is? _ She began to think of older adversaries that she had to fight in the past, but why? They’ve all been dealt with, taken care of, why would any of this bother her now,  _ years _ removed? She had a new home, a new life, a life of returning peace and a very bright future with the love of her life. Wouldn’t this be the thing she should focus on today? What is today? How long has it been since she’s left the city? The kingdom? How long has it been since she’s been to the Southern Water Tribe, her home? Wait, this was her home...wasn’t it? 

“Korra?” Asami asked again, this time succeeded in getting Korra’s attention. Korra, startled, quickly snapped her attention to Asami.

“Hm? What’s up?” She tried responding cheerfully, hoping that would hide her internal chaos. 

“Are you ok? You stopped breathing for a bit.” Asami moved so she could look into Korra’s eyes and also so she could grab hold of Korra’s hand to squeeze it.

“Yeah! I was just thinking…” Korra lingered on following up her answer, hoping  _ something _ would come to mind to not make Asami worry. But when Asami leaned in closer to her, she knew she ran out of time to find a lie. “...Well, about how I’m kinda homesick. I mean, with being away from the Tribe for so long.” It was a half truth, perhaps it would be enough.

“Oh, Korra.” Asami leaned in to kiss Korra’s temple and squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m sorry we haven’t had an opportunity to go back in such a long time, I know it’s been rough on you.” She gave Korra a quick kiss on the lips, which made Korra’s heart flutter, she had a knack for doing that. Asami sat up to stretch a bit before going back to find her spot on top of Korra, but before she did she noticed that it was snowing. “Korra, look.”

_ Snow. Waterbending. South Pole. Southern Water Tribe.  _

“It looks so pretty!” Asami exclaimed, there was a slight pause before she continued. “Hey, I have an idea.”

Korra perked up, almost lost herself in her mind again, “What is it?” She was now able to give Asami her full attention.

“Get dressed. We’re going outside! We can’t go to the South Pole, but we can definitely get you some similar sights of being there!”

Korra couldn't stop herself from giggling, this was really sweet of her and yet so simple and cute. “Ok, if that’s what you want to do.”

“Of course it’s what I want to do! If it’ll make you feel any better, I want to do it. And besides…” she started to walk out of the room to get her jacket, “...it’s warmer here.” She finished with a cheeky grin.

“Pfff. Don’t worry though, I’ll keep you warm too.” 

“I was counting on it.”

***

The two found a good spot on the outskirts of the property, facing the mountains and a good ways away from any road or light source they could. Asami, having spare dry wood, placed logs in a small pit that Korra then lit with her bending. She brought with her a two person chair, so they could easily and comfortably cuddle. 

While sitting down, Asami placed a hand on Korra’s leg, “I know this isn’t exactly perfect, but you can’t argue with the view.” The snow fall had gotten a little heavier and the flakes were getting bigger, nothing the two couldn’t handle. There was something ethereal with just looking up and watching the snow fall. Korra couldn’t explain it, but it did resonate with her.

_ Snow. South Pole. Mountains...cliff _

_ Korra. Loved one, Family. Father...mother…. _

“This was a great idea.” Korra said as she wrapped one arm around Asami’s shoulder, “Thank you so much for this. It’s kind of a silly idea but...I’m really enjoying it.” She faced Asami with a loving smile. 

“Anything for you.” Was all Asami needed to say. As if on cue, they both leaned in to kiss each other. It was a longer kiss, both wanting nothing more to show their love for each other. 

They pulled away, both smiling at each other, “Are you serious about that turtleneck though?” Korra teased, rather ruining their small moment. But Asami was quick to retort, “You lose a lot of heat in the neck,” she didn’t want Korra having the last word. Asami laid herself onto Korra’s chest once more, continuing the cuddle session, albeit it being colder and clunkier with some winter clothes on.

A few moments passed, the snow got slightly heavier, but still nothing the two would be concerned about. Korra stared off into the horizon, just into the mountains and the snow flickering by. Asami stared at the fire before her but she wanted to talk to Korra, nothing really of importance, but something lighthearted to make her smile. Maybe wait a few more moments so Korra could center herself. 

_ Korra. Home. Fire. Mother. Father. Mother burning, she burned alive.  _

_ Cold. Snow. Mountains. Cliff. Water crashing below. Failure as Avatar...new reincarnation.  _

Negative thoughts were prevailing in Korra’s mind, and creeping into Asami’s. Asami has had a few moments every once in a while about her past. Even so, she would always be so happy with Korra, but she always wished that her mother could meet her future wife. She strongly believed that she would’ve supported them being together and even gotten along with Korra. Her father, on the other hand, would’ve probably taken longer to persuade. Mayhaps not, his grievances against benders only started because….

What was the cause of all these past memories rushing through Korra’s mind? No one was trying to kill her anymore. She had prevailed through them all! She was strong...right? Was she a failure for having three major enemies all within a year? And then one caused by her decision to leave? Followed immediately by two more just because of the last one? Avatar Aang probably didn’t have all these problems like this. Was she too weak in the eyes of the world? Was she a disappointment to all the past Avatars? She felt small, mattering less and less as the seconds go by in her mind of seemingly infinite minutes. 

The smell of burning flesh, the smell of oil and fire, the sound of metal smashing metal. The smell of poison gas...the sight of Korra saving you. Korra, the love of your life. The person who you would want to spend the rest of your life with. The person who you were trying to do everything in your power to be happy. Your mother made you happy.... 

Asami then wondered what plans her mother would come up with for their wedding, but it was harder to theorize as she was killed when Asami was still young. She let out an audible sigh, trying to shake off her residual depressing thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she moved her gaze to the ground, now having a layer of snow. Something moved caught her eye, it was the snow. On one of the legs of the chair, the snow was slowly crawling upwards and then fell. But that was nothing to what caught her attention next, the fire. It was growing, shrinking, gone out, lit itself again, turned blue, and more unnatural reactions, how could she have not noticed this sooner? 

Asami shot up and looked at Korra, her eyes focused on something that wasn’t there. Korra’s breathing was irregular and short, and unbeknownst to Asami, her muscles were spazzing. Asami could then make out that her eyes were watering,  _ how long was I out?! _ She panicked. 

Did the world really need the Avatar? Was Amon right, were benders inherently evil? Did Vaatu and Unalaq cause her to lose the legacy of all of her previous lifetimes? Did Zaheer break her in ways that no other Avatar has been broken? Was he right that the Avatar has no place in the new world? Was she putting innocent lives in harm’s way because of her actions? Was--

“Korra!” Asami shouted. Korra came back and sharply inhaled, as if she had not been breathing the entire time. Her sight was only Asami, who was now kneeling directly in front of her. Her face was full with worry as she was firmly grasping Korra’s shoulders. 

"...Hey…." Korra's reply was shaky as she returned to the reality in front of her. Asami didn’t respond back, she just stared at Korra, increasingly concerned as Korra took longer to continue. Asami just looked at Korra, with her eyebrows raised and eyes wide open, as she waited, impatiently, for her to respond. 

“Sorry…” Korra continued, still catching her breath, “..It’s just…,” another pause, she didn’t want Asami to worry so much. Korra knew that she had to tell Asami the full truth, but damn it would hurt Asami more, especially over things that happened years ago. They’ve moved on from all those incidents, the pain. This was absurd, it was as if they travelled back in time, she felt all those same fears and pain as she did long ago. 

Korra swallowed, “It’s…” she tried to say something, but only began to chuckle instead over how ludicrous all this was, and it seemed that was enough to let the tears she was holding back to finally fall. “Sorry…,” she said again, “...I just feel silly.” She sniffed. Asami moved one of her hands to cup Korra’s cheek, which Korra leaned into and placed her hand over Asami’s. Closing her eyes, she resumed, “I’ve been having these never ending thoughts about like when I was crippled. All those things that Amon, Unalaq, Vaatu, Zaheer, and Kuvira had said. Losing my connection to my past lives. Feeling just as hopeless and useless as I did way back when I lost my bending. I…”She took a staggered breath, eyebrows furrowed, “It happened so long ago, and I know I should be over these things, it’s all been over and dealt with. I thought I was done with these stupid thoughts.” Her breathing picked up, “I just feel so  _ stupid _ and worthless!” She painfully admitted, tears now flowing faster. She opened her eyes to look at Asami, hoping that she didn’t cause too much pain.

Asami smiled softly and stood up, Korra still holding onto her. “Hold on.” she said tenderly. She removed Korra’s hand and stood up. Undoing her jacket, she sat back down on the other end of the chair and had her arms open. Hands gesturing her partner to come to her, which Korra obliged without any hesitation. Korra placed her head on top of Asami’s chest and breathed with her. 

“It’s ok,” Asami began, “You’re ok to feel those emotions again. You’re still as strong as ever. You’re just as useful as ever, to the world and especially to me. You belong here, and matter to everyone alive, even the spirits.” Asami placed her hand on top of Korra’s cheek again and began stroking her thumb across. “It’s not silly or weak of you to feel what you’re feeling again. We all have our days. You’ve had near death experiences, you can’t just get over something like that and not be bothered by it ever again.” She kissed the top of Korra’s head, trying in every way that she could to reassure Korra. “Can I tell you something?” She asked.

“Mmhmm.” Korra didn’t really have the energy to say anything else. 

“You gotta promise me that you won’t get upset.” Asami said cheekily. There was just a slight pause before Korra nodded to agree.

“Ok, well, just now, I was thinking about my parents and--” Korra shot up, interrupting Asami. She felt extremely guilty, how dare she be upset about anything when Asami was grieving. Asami knew this would happen, “You promised you wouldn’t get upset.” She said with a smile, “It’s ok, come back to me,” she said tenderly. Korra slowly placed herself back onto Asami’s chest. “What I was going to say, is that even I still get wrapped up in those thoughts, I believe everyone does.  _ Some _ are better at hiding it than others, but we still go through it.” She hugged Korra tightly, “And no matter what other people say, no matter what the press says, no matter what your head says, you’re still as strong as ever and you’re still important as ever. Always remember that I love you, Korra, with my entire being. Doesn’t matter what the world does to you, to me, to us. As long as we’re together, I  _ know _ we can handle it together.” Asami affirmed. 

There was a small moment of stillness until Korra slowly raised her head to look at her compassionate and caring lover, “...Thank you...I love you too, Asami.” She sniffed again, her tears had stopped for a small moment. “...I made your turtleneck wet.” It was Asami’s turn to laugh. 

“It’s fine. I know you can bend it out.” She said with a chuckle.

“Do you want to talk about your parents?” Korra asked quietly, still trying to regain her composure.

“We can, but first I want to know if  _ you’re _ ok. Once you are feeling better, we can talk about me. I don’t want you to feel down.” Asami leaned in and kissed Korra. “I just want to make sure that you know that I care about you and that you can still talk to me about anything, even if you think it’s ‘silly.’” They kept their eye contact, until Asami pulled Korra back down. “Do you think going to the South Pole will make you feel any better?”

Korra barely raised her shoulders up, “I don’t know...I think I just wanted to be somewhere familiar.”

Asami started to lightly rub Korra’s arm, “I’m sorry that the mansion isn’t really a cozy and familiar place for you yet. I hope one day it will.” Asami paused, “Or…,” she tilted her head and looked up, “...I could sell the mansion and we could get a small one bedroom apartment or house! And then...wait no, it’d have to be a two bedroom. Naga needs her own room.” Korra laughed out loud,  _ there she is.  _ Asami couldn’t help but to chuckle along with Korra, her happiness was indeed contagious. “Then I can turn this into another warehouse and--”

“Stoooop,” Korra groaned lightly. “We don’t need to sell your home. Besides...there’s a lot of memories for you here. And…”  _ Asami’s Mother. Asami’s Father. Asami’s past. Asami’s livelihood. Me moving in. So many nights here of just us. Us. Our future.  _ “...I want to make more memories with you here.”

Asami’s heart swelled, “Korra…,” she didn’t know what else to say. “...come here.” Korra obliged and moved in. They kissed tenderly, while Asami wraps her arms around the girl she knows she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. Korra pulled away slightly, just so she could stare at those gorgeous emerald eyes. “Korra, you’re so sweet, and I hate to ruin this moment, but can we go back inside? I’m getting cold.” She laughed. 

Korra looked confused, “But what about you? Don’t you want to talk about what was bothering you?”

“I would love to talk to you, but I want to get inside first. I promise we can talk there.”

“Ok.” Korra said softly.

“I have an idea.  _ You  _ keep me company while I cook us up something warm to eat, and  _ I’ll _ tell you what was going on. And then we’ll eat, talk some more about this if you need to.” Asami pulled herself up from her lying position, Korra following suit, and stood up. “And then…” she led on with a very intentional long pause.

“...And theeeeeeeeen...what?” Korra asked curiously.

Asami shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll see.” Asami deflected playfully. “Come.” She put out her hand.

Korra stood up and quickly bent the fire out and grabbed hold of Asami’s hand. They walked together towards their home. 

_ Home. My home. Our home. Our future. _

***

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants the continuation of this, aka Asami's talk, I can do that too. Let me know.
> 
> reviews/comments are always appreciated. thank you :)


End file.
